writing a book?

for as long as i can remember, i've always had book ideas.

i've always loved reading, and sometimes i would have alternative ideas for books and be like hey! i could do this too.

the best ideas come to me in the summer, when school is out and i remember i'm a real person with original thoughts, and then i sit on it all year and develop the characters, story, and scenes in my head. usually this happens in class, in the shower, and anywhere else i can daydream. sadly, i'm actually the worst at sitting down and writing from beginning to end. i make pinterest boards, playlists, and write all of the biggest scenes, but what I really struggle with is the exposition. 

currently i am working on a story that has developing in my mind for about a year! and only recently did it occur to me that it's basically a fanfiction of 3 of my favorite and most-watched shows. that put me in a slump and made me feel very uncreative but at the same time the plot is insane and the shows are so different I feel like nobody would even know. who knows? not me. maybe a publisher if it ever gets there. but i'm still working on it because it is my brain baby and im having fun. 

in other news...

currently avoiding my outlook because I have emails from 2 of my bosses asking me to start working for next semester (starting in a month omg im gonna cry/die/whine/throwup/goforamassiveshoppingspreetonumbthepain) and i read them and forgot about them and now its been a week and im ashamed. 

im gonna be a junior! in college! who let me get this far? the impostor syndrome is real because guys let me tell you... i have no idea what i want to do after college and also i feel like im the dumbest person in my school. well, maybe not the dumbest, but i sure do feel like i dont belong there.

also, so many of you guys have been inspired by my blog and it's making me so happy! thank you! i love my blog this is so fun. hopefully you don't hate my lack of capitalization and random punctuation style. I do know and use proper grammar in real life but this is my safe space.